… to be precise at Horine conservation area in Jefferson memorial forest. Today, more liberation in the face of doubt.
I arrived, did my daily ritual of unpacking and moving baskets of my belongings to the front seat to ready my sleeping quarters for the evening. I prepared for an afternoon hike by first scouting the area on my mountain bike. While out on the gravel road loop that accesses the other camp sites, I discovered that I was parked at the Group site #3 rather than the site family site # 3. When I returned to my van the new occupants had already arrived. I apologized and promptly moved my belongings off the front seat, lifted the bike onto the rack and drove to the new site. And repeated the unpacking ritual.
Now I was ready for my walk. I had a map of the grounds, keys and my phone… Just in case I could call who knows who to find me somewhere in the hills of Kentucky. As I set out gazing at the map I had an awareness and discomfort. I have a belief I can’t read maps well. I always have someone else do it. Well here I am alone, so it’s time to distinguish that belief… Or get lost. Which I am not about to do !
I set out on a trail that looks like fun, the Mitchell Lake trail. Down I go through a winding, steep forest trail. It keeps going down, which I recognize of course needs to come up. I finally come upon the namesake of the trail…Mitchell Lake, which is really a large pond. I continue across and around. And alas the climb up. Eventually I come to a crossroad with another marking on a post. I refer to the map, read the sign and make my choice to go right. I am now on the steepest part of the trail, get to the top and all of a sudden out of nowhere comes…doubt. Recently I read a quote…”Doubt afflicts the person who lacks faith and can ultimately destroy him”. Now I realize in these circumstances that seems a bit dramatic. And my doubt was more of the healthy skepticism variety. But here is my point… I decided after walking all the way up to turn around to read the sign again because I wasn’t trusting my choice. And of course the sign read exactly what I originally thought so I needed to climb up again. It wasn’t a terrible climb but with my bum knee it wasn’t great either.
Doubt can waste energy, time and mostly happiness. It takes us off course yet teaches us forgiveness and trust. All worthwhile. As I am traveling alone, being vigilant and mindful are tantamount. I also got another great awareness… I can read a map without anyone helping me!
Each day, as I awaken before dawn, I feel a welcoming and deep gratitude for whatever shows up and I am given in this life. I may be insignificant in the grand scheme but if I inspire 1 of you to take a risk, a leap of faith… To discover and share your message, gifts and Live your hearts desire, to live what is true in the face of doubt, fear and uncertainty ….. YAY!
Here is to the light in the midst of darkness… AHO