Now that I have really landed, created a beautiful home, romantic relationship and the beginnings of community here in Boulder… it’s time to continue the deep work that is my path and really never stops. I had a powerful experience I would like to share with you… watching how my mind makes an assumption to the degree that the fear created was felt down to my cells…. and moving on through to the other side that resulted in a powerful transformation.
During the whole experience I was conscious that I was making an assumption but decided to evolve and ride the wave. I saw a fear arise based on my assumption. That fear was in me no matter if I was making an assumption or not. And that fear needed to be addressed… real or made up made no difference. I was feeling it. This is a great opportunity that I wasn’t going to pass up as it was in my way of freedom.
The fear was around my survival. I set up my new life here in Boulder with a fabulous job opportunity, which basically covered my rent. What I didn’t consider is that my employer might flake on me which would put my housing situation at risk. However, he did sign on the dotted line so really I am okay but my mind went into great fear.
Here began my process of revelation:
1. I have had a belief that people will not keep their commitments with me. Possibly because of their fear but on my end part of this convoluted belief brings up another belief…
2. I have done something wrong, which is why they break their commitment. I, on the other hand I tend to be willing to work through anything, within reason. I hold hope… sometimes to a fault. So I went through the flushing process of looking at my actions, intentions and judgments to see where I may have created a conflict or reaction. Done and cleared.
3. I then realized a couple of things…
I was becoming too dependent and not doing the work at hand… namely the work I am meant to be doing…. the ways in which I can be of best service in my community. This requires me to step out and really share myself with others.
I can not depend on anyone except myself and God. We are a team:) And I have the opportunity to remember and stay on track. This is actually good… of course just uncomfortable. Dependency on someone is not good if I give up or get lazy with what is most important in my life. It’s not like I am not doing anything. It’s really more about me stepping out into the world and not hiding behind my computer. So a fire is being lit. And I am back on track! I am introducing myself to Boulder in ways I have not stepped out before. So, again I release with grace and surrender to life, God, and trust my inner guidance.
I am grateful for the awareness this assumption brought to me… the lack of sleep, not so much. But I made up for it and slept 9 hours last night:)
When used with awareness, assumptions reveal a treasure of awareness and healing. I encourage you to use them with awareness and discover what is in your way of your freedom.